Thursday, February 7, 2008
Another Story Involving Wine and My Nose
I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime. Last night I was lying on my stomach reading and I was drinking a glass of wine. This is what I think happened. I think I took a sip of my wine, put my head down onto the book and fell asleep, possibly mid-swallow. This is what I know happened after that. Dan walked into the room and woke me up, asking if I wanted to get into bed. As I lifted my head up of off of the book, red fluid gushed from my nose splashing darkly onto my sheets. If it hadn’t had been for the incredible burning sensation and the overwhelmingly strong aroma a wine, I would have thought my nose was bleeding. However, I quickly realized that it was wine, jumped up and ran to the bathroom to investigate. Actually, I just blew my nose, and crawled back into bed and went to sleep. It is a blessing, this ability to fall instantly asleep, and a curse.
NPR is like Crack
I am a NPR junkie. I can’t help myself. I get in the car and the first thing I do is tune into 91.5 FM and catch up on what is happening in the world, arts, music, politics, culture, and the economy. The way their non-accented voices, flowing in through my car stereo, make me feel connected is so comforting. Mornings with Morning Addition and Market Place, lunch time with the Diane Rehm Show, and afternoons with All things Considered. Weekends with Car Talk, Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me, and The Splendid Table. What would I do without these guys?
But wait, it is not all picnics in the meadow and long walks on the beach. Three to four times a year, I have to give up my NPR. I have to turn off the radio, pull out my dusty CDs and resign myself to a week without my beloved radio. Why does this avid and somewhat obsessive fan have to turn off her “life line?”
Pledge Drive.
What is more annoying, more depressing, and more frustrating than turning on the radio expecting to hear some news, and what you hear instead is the manager of the radio station pleading for your money. It drives me crazy. Sometimes I try to stick it out through the begging and pleading because I know somewhere in the middle of it all, they have to take a break and then I will get 5 minutes of news, but most of the time I just give up immediately and turn it off.
Pledge drives don’t make me want to give money. They make me want to break something, scream, or ram something with my car. There has got to be a better way. Maybe if they bribed me saying,
“If you pay now, we promise we won’t have a pledge drive again, ever!” My checkbook would be out before I reached the next stop light.
This morning, after chasing Bronwen around the house, forgetting to brush my teeth and realizing that there is a huge spot on the middle of my sweater but I don’t have time to change, I strapped Bronwen into her car seat, turned on the car and turned up the radio. (Sometimes it is hard to hear over Bronwen’s screaming). The first voice I heard was unfamiliar.
“This is X the manager of 91.5 FM. I bet you are wondering where the funding for Public radio comes from.” That was not at all what I was wondering about.
“You probably don’t realize this, but over 90% of all programming is paid for by you, the listener.”
Damn! Bronwen’s screaming is so much louder without the radio on.
But wait, it is not all picnics in the meadow and long walks on the beach. Three to four times a year, I have to give up my NPR. I have to turn off the radio, pull out my dusty CDs and resign myself to a week without my beloved radio. Why does this avid and somewhat obsessive fan have to turn off her “life line?”
Pledge Drive.
What is more annoying, more depressing, and more frustrating than turning on the radio expecting to hear some news, and what you hear instead is the manager of the radio station pleading for your money. It drives me crazy. Sometimes I try to stick it out through the begging and pleading because I know somewhere in the middle of it all, they have to take a break and then I will get 5 minutes of news, but most of the time I just give up immediately and turn it off.
Pledge drives don’t make me want to give money. They make me want to break something, scream, or ram something with my car. There has got to be a better way. Maybe if they bribed me saying,
“If you pay now, we promise we won’t have a pledge drive again, ever!” My checkbook would be out before I reached the next stop light.
This morning, after chasing Bronwen around the house, forgetting to brush my teeth and realizing that there is a huge spot on the middle of my sweater but I don’t have time to change, I strapped Bronwen into her car seat, turned on the car and turned up the radio. (Sometimes it is hard to hear over Bronwen’s screaming). The first voice I heard was unfamiliar.
“This is X the manager of 91.5 FM. I bet you are wondering where the funding for Public radio comes from.” That was not at all what I was wondering about.
“You probably don’t realize this, but over 90% of all programming is paid for by you, the listener.”
Damn! Bronwen’s screaming is so much louder without the radio on.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Beauty Pageant Madness
Last Saturday night Bronwen and I went to a Miss America Pageant Party. My friend Lauren is a fiend when it comes to the Miss America Pageant, and this was the 8th year in a row that she has thrown this party.
Now, as many may know, Sunshine knows more about the Miss Universe Pageant than is natural and I was looking forward to dressing up like a pageant contestant and going to this party. I was also looking forward to introducing more people to the Beauty Pageant Drinking Game (my very favorite of all TV drinking games).
I really wanted to wear the dress that I wore to my 8th grade dance. It is salmon colored, with a diagonal ruffled hemline, ruched body with drop waist, and a huge salmon colored flower pinned on the corner. As I had not worn it in 18 years, I wasn’t sure it was going to fit. Sure enough, my hips barely squished down into it, and the top didn’t even come close to zippering shut.
Instead, I pulled out my wedding underwear and my favorite bridesmaid outfit, from Kym and Jared’s beautiful wedding, dressed Bronwen in her flower girl outfit, grabbed my blender and a bottle of Stoli and drove to Lauren’s apartment. It just so happens that Lauren lives in Friendly Hills (Aimee and I lived there many times and I have many funny stories.)
Her kitchen table was filled with delicious food, spinach dip, fried chicken bites, stuffed mushrooms, coconut cupcakes and brownies, BLT stuffed tomatoes, and tortilla spirals of love. Delicious!
Weeks before the party we had each voted for the contestant that we thought would win, and we voted for the contestants that we thought would make it to the top five. Lauren had prizes for person who got the most right. We watched and drank and it turns out that most of our contestants were nixed. I only had one contestant left in the top five, Go North Carolina!
Now, as many may know, Sunshine knows more about the Miss Universe Pageant than is natural and I was looking forward to dressing up like a pageant contestant and going to this party. I was also looking forward to introducing more people to the Beauty Pageant Drinking Game (my very favorite of all TV drinking games).
I really wanted to wear the dress that I wore to my 8th grade dance. It is salmon colored, with a diagonal ruffled hemline, ruched body with drop waist, and a huge salmon colored flower pinned on the corner. As I had not worn it in 18 years, I wasn’t sure it was going to fit. Sure enough, my hips barely squished down into it, and the top didn’t even come close to zippering shut.
Instead, I pulled out my wedding underwear and my favorite bridesmaid outfit, from Kym and Jared’s beautiful wedding, dressed Bronwen in her flower girl outfit, grabbed my blender and a bottle of Stoli and drove to Lauren’s apartment. It just so happens that Lauren lives in Friendly Hills (Aimee and I lived there many times and I have many funny stories.)
Her kitchen table was filled with delicious food, spinach dip, fried chicken bites, stuffed mushrooms, coconut cupcakes and brownies, BLT stuffed tomatoes, and tortilla spirals of love. Delicious!
Weeks before the party we had each voted for the contestant that we thought would win, and we voted for the contestants that we thought would make it to the top five. Lauren had prizes for person who got the most right. We watched and drank and it turns out that most of our contestants were nixed. I only had one contestant left in the top five, Go North Carolina!
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