Children

I heard this amazing essay read on NPR today. I wish I could remember the guys name, but unfortunately I tuned in late and tuned out early, so you will have to figure it out for yourself, if you are interested.

But the gist was about children. Your own children, namely. He asked the question, "What happened to my life, who took it and when can I have it back?" He askes this question when his son tells him he's lives a pathetically small life because he is happy about getting a "low impact" washer and dryer system. But he says it's true. He does live a small life. "What happened to the band I was going to form, or the second language I was going to be fluent in?"

And he realized the his sons had literally "stolen" his life. His sons had formed bands and rocked out, and gotten gigs, and they had been good! And his sons had learned a second languages, not just learned but become fluent!

And I thought about our child. My little girl, who at this point is infinite potential. All of those things I have wanted to do, start a band, travel the world, paint, create piles of pots at the ceramic studio; I won't be surprised if she does these things and more. In fact, she is going to do things I didn't even realize I want to do.

After hearing this essay I felt anger, and maybe a little sadness. Why let our kids have all the fun? What keeps us from doing the things we want to do? Is it them? Does their birth so throw us off our path as to keep us from accomplishing those things that would make us feel complete? But then I thought about Bronwen and the way her birth has changed the direction of my life.

It is not so drastic as all that. It's not as if I was heading one way and suddenly I have to make a 90 degree turn and now I am off in a totally different direction. No, it's more subtle than that. My life continues onward, ever open to the possibilities. Just now, she is part of the possibilities. She opens new roads, and clarifies road signs that may have been unclear before.

Her inifinite potential is my infinite potential and Dan's infinite potential and as a family that infinity increases. I look forward to watching her fullfil her dreams (which may concidentally also be mine!) and I look forward to the adventures we will have as a family; our little group exploring the world together.