Adventures in Car-land

Saturday night we discovered that the keys were locked in the car. I didn’t need the car until Monday; so it wasn’t until Sunday afternoon that I actually started the process of recovering my keys which ended with me being $210 poorer and without a car for the week. Please read and learn from my mistakes.

Mistake #1: When looking for a locksmith, trust your instincts when creepy men answer the phone and do not invite them to your house to unlock your car. After talking to what sounded like a half asleep or perhaps drunk man with an unrecognizable accent and telling him where I lived and what I required, I was left with an indeterminate anxiety. When the young man, Ron, showed up 10 minutes later, and I was told that it would cost $155 to ease a modified hanger into the window to pop open the lock, I realize that there was a reason to feel stressed.

“No way am I paying that to get into my car.”

“Well, you still owe me $35 for showing up,” Ron said apologetically.

“No thanks, I will find someone else.”

“Let me call my manager,” he said sheepishly. Ron was a young guy and I think he wasn’t sure what to do with this situation.

“Let me get my husband,” I said and walked inside.

When we came out Ron had a new offer for us (which in hindsight I probably should have declined). He said that he could do the whole “job” for $90.

“Fine,” I said. And he went to work with the unraveled hanger with Duct Tape on the end.

As he got ready to leave, and I was handing him my credit card he said,

“Oh, we only take cash.” Dan was really mad now. I felt sorry for Ron.

“Okay, let me drive to the bank and get you cash. Do you want to wait here?”

“No, I will follow you there.”

“Suit yourself,” I jumped into my car, turned the key in the ignition and nothing happened.

“Drive me to the gas station and I will get you cash,” I told him and we took his rental mini van down to the BP so I could get charged $2.25 to give him $90. Damn it!

Mistake #2: Don’t try to roll your car down a hill backwards into the street that goes uphill. After Ron dropped me off, we started to canvas the neighborhood for jumper cables. Dan turned his car around so we were hood to hood and I started calling people. Unfortunately we couldn’t come up with anything. What we should have done is asked for a ride (my car was blocking Dan’s) to the car stuff store to purchase our cables. Instead, my idea was to roll the car down the driveway, onto the street, at which time I would turn the wheels and continue rolling down hill to park somewhere nearby. Here is what happened when we attempted our ill conceived plan.

First, did you know that power steering, and brakes don’t work when the battery is dead? I learned that on Sunday as we started to roll backwards and I was stomping my foot down on the brake but nothing was happening. Fortunately, I remembered the handbrake just in time to start easing backwards. Unfortunately, I remember the handbrake, so I wasn’t going fast enough at the bottom of the drive to start backwards up hill on the road. So, I got stuck, with the car half turned, with the rear sticking out into the road and the hood wedged up against a bush. Dan tried to push the car uphill, but as you might imagine, it was too heavy to move. I managed to force the wheels enough to one side to roll a little more into the bush and Dan was able to slip the Beetle between my car the stairs so that he could go get cables.

Mistake #3: You should turn on the other car that is giving you a jump when jumping your car. I guess I missed that in the directions. Needless to say, my car didn’t start.

Mistake #4: Not calling AAA when this entire event started. If I had called to renew my membership with AAA at the very beginning of this debacle, I would only have had to pay $114, and my car wouldn’t be stuck in the middle of the road, drawing the attention of all cars trying to get by.

I called AAA and renewed my membership and they sent out a tow truck. I already had an appointment at the mechanic tomorrow for a new axle, so I figured I would get the car over there a day early and make Dan drive me around for the next few days.

The tow truck arrived 30 minutes later. I rushed outside to sheepishly greet my rescuer.

“What’s going on here?” he laughed as he lumbered over to me. Carl, the tow truck driver, was huge, 6’6’’, 250 pounds. I was a little intimidated. I explained the whole situation and at the end he was laughing heartily.

“Well, I hope you didn’t do any damage rolling your car into the street. Let me give you a jump.”

“But I already tried that with my husband’s car,” I said.

“Is that his?” he gestured to the Beetle, “That ain’t gonna work.”

So he proceed to jump my car, and talk all about the old Dylan album his just found in his truck (The Greatest Hits) and how his wife hates Dylan but loves the Grateful Dead, and how his 16 year old daughter wants to go on tour with the Dead but he can’t understand that because they’re just not the same since Jerry died. I really liked him. He jumped the car and I drove it right back into the driveway, giddy with the success.

Mistake #5: Never drive your car away from the tow truck that jumped it until you know your battery is really going to hold a charge. I left the car running and Carl walked up the drive to have me fill out some paperwork before he left. He wanted to make sure that everything was okay before he left so we chatted for a minute while the car was running.

“Hey, I used to have that sticker on my car (Save the Tatas) but my boss said it was unprofessional so I had to take it off,” he told me.

“No way, it’s all about breast cancer awareness,” I said.

“I know,” Carl replied, “I told my boss, hey you like boobs don’t ya?”

“Who doesn’t like boobs?” I asked.

So we finished our paperwork and I turned off my car.

“Let me just try that before I leave,” Carl said and jumped into my car. It didn’t start. And now it was at the top of the driveway, completely inaccessible. He didn’t seemed worried.

“I probably shouldn’t show you this, but, well, hop in.” He opened the passenger door for me from the inside. I got into the car and he proceeded to show me how to pop the clutch to start a car that is rolling down the hill. He suggested that I leave the car running and take it to the shop to get the battery checked.

At the end of the day, I was sad that I had had to spend my entire day, and entire savings, dealing with this car issue. But retrospect beautifies this one. I got to meet two guys from different worlds from my own, everything turned out okay in the end, and I got a good story to tell. Life's little adventures are certainly amusing.