My Bulging Pockets

I think I have done a pretty good job maintaining my identity despite the birth of my child. Not every blog entry is about her. I don’t spend every conversation espousing the benefits of disposable diapers, and wipe warmers, or recounting yet another cute anecdote concerning talking, or walking, or falling down, or something embarrassing.

My car has only slightly suffered her introduction to the world; my house is only slightly more messy, I still get to play the guitar, crochet, cook for fun, throw parties, and even sometimes go out to the movies, or shoot pool, when a babysitter is available.

This morning, as I was racing from my car to the office, (I was 30 minutes late for work today!), I stuffed my freezing hands into my coat pockets to feel for my cell phone and it suddenly occurred to me that it was my coat pockets that have truly suffered my becoming a mother.

These pockets are completely overflowing. I must look like I have enormous hips, my coat bulging obscenely around my middle. This morning, and it changes throughout the week, the following items were residing in my pockets:

1. Three mandarin oranges: I do not get to eat breakfast as I am always running late in the mornings, so I stuffed these in there on the way out to the car.
2. One four foot long piece of toilet paper: Have you ever seen how much snot a one year old can produce? It doesn’t seem possible.
3. Two wheat crackers: Bronwen gets cranky when she is hungry and I always seem to be picking her up, or dropping her off when she is hungry. But I think these particular crackers were left over from our Costco trip last night.
4. Lipstick: I can’t remember the last time I wore lipstick, but I keep it just in case.
5. Burt’s Bees Lip-gloss: No only does this help my chapped lips, I also smear it under Bronwen’s nose to help with the snot induced chapped upper lip. Ha!
6. Necklace: Bronwen was pulling on this necklace and I was afraid it would break so I took it off and shoved it in my pocket. It lives there now.
7. Spare change: Pennies mostly, useless. I find change and pick it up so Bronwen won’t choke.
8. Spare pacifier: Have you seen what a pacifier can do when stuffed into the mouth a screaming child?
9. Receipts/papers/etc: Today, while fishing for the cell phone amongst the above listed things, I discovered the confirmation slip for the Foreign Service exam. Also, there are various receipts for lunches and daycare payments. I really should empty some of this stuff out.

When I carry a purse, all of this mess moves from the pockets to the purse. And because the purse is so much bigger, it is exciting to see the items that congregate and secretly multiply. If only the spare change would multiply into bills, that would multiple into larger bills.