Today, my life has totally changed. For the first time in over two years, I have not fallen asleep at my desk. Not only that, but my mind is clear, my brain is functioning, and my creativity is running wild.
I hate the CPAP machine, but it has made me feel like a normal human being again. Last night was the first time I have been able to strap that thing onto my face and fall asleep. With the help of a healthy measure of sake, I was able to fall asleep with it on, and keep it on the whole night.
Unsurprisingly, I felt tired this morning (I stayed up drinking sake with Cavin until midnight) but there was a difference. Normally, I would come into work and immediately pass out at my desk. But this morning, despite the fatigue, I sat at my desk, read and answered emails, did some writing and made phone calls without any of that crippling, uncontrollable falling asleep that has plagued me for what seems like, forever.
Did I mention that I hate the CPAP machine? And I resent myself for having gotten too fat to breath properly at night, but I have learned to be civil with that machine, and after today, I can’t help but want to use it again, so that I can continue to feel this way; awake, alert, aware, interested, and alive.
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1 comment:
Thank goodness! You may hate the CPAP, but it will add years to your life and make those around you happy just to be with the real Elsbeth again!
Lots of love, and keep a bottle of sake handy, if that helps. : )
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