Virginia is for Funerals

The last time I was in Virginia I ended up getting stuck in two, count them, two massive funerals. Yesterday I was driving home from Richmond and I got stuck in the middle of yet another funeral. At first I thought there was an accident up ahead as I saw flashing lights, but as I eased down the hill, the flashing red and blues moved slowly forward. I didn’t think much about it, although I was cursing my luck for getting stuck in a traffic jam. The traffic began to thin out and as I crested another hill I saw the cop again, this time on the other side of the road, blocking traffic so that a massive line of cars could cut across traffic and off of the highway. I whisked by in the left hand lane and it was only as I raced irreverently past them mourners and glanced into a car that I actually realized what was happening. Another funeral; and in Virginia of all places. I am staying out of that state from now on.