What Really Happened

Last night I flashed a security camera in the stairwell of the parking garage. I don’t know what came over me. I was walking up the first flight of stairs to the second floor of the garage when I noticed a large security camera pointing straight down at me. In a manner quite unlike me, I acted immediately on my impulse without thinking about the consequences. I grabbed the hem of my t-shirt and yanked it up over my face and pushed out my chest out towards the camera. I lowered my shirt and giggled and ran up the rest of the steps. Breathless and happy I jumped into my car and drove home.

That is the story I wanted to write. Here is what really happened.

Last night after my pottery class when I was climbing the stairs to the second floor of the parking garage I noticed a security camera pointing directly at me. I had this overwhelming urge to flash the camera. I wanted to grab the hem of my t-shirt and yanked it up over my face and shimmy my boobs out at the camera. For almost 10 seconds I stood there contemplating the possible repercussions of taking this action. I decided that what would probably happen would be the following: I flash the camera, no one ever looks at the tape normally, except that on this night, some person reports getting harassed in that very same stairwell so the tape is pulled and rewound and the whole police force gathers around the TV screen to look for the perp when suddenly a 30 something clay covered blond girl comes into view and flashes the camera, giggles and runs away. Then they would come to my house to arrest me for very indecent exposure (no one should have to see that!), and the flashing would go on my permanent record and I would never be able to get a good job again and I would end up living on the streets, digging through trashcans for food and sleeping in that very same stairwell. It would be a tragic story with a tragic end. You can see why I decided to curb my instinct. I climbed the remaining stairs to my car. Nervous and depressed I jumped into my car and drove home.